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Review:SereneChaos says:
Hi! So, I think writing about Mr. Ollivander's family is a great idea! I'm interested to see what you do with this. Your story summary was fantastic, btw.

I think this could be improved by incorporating more background info, ie, how big the Ollivander family is, and why Ette does not like Jonas. Since Jonas Weasley isn't a canon next-gen character, I'd like to know how far in the future this takes place. It's a little hard for me to imagine Ollivander magically beating up some boys (even if they were whistling at his granddaughter) only because I *think* him hurting students to that extent might get him into trouble.

In terms of your questions, I definitely don't suggest writing your story straight into the website. I save my chapters on word, but if you don't have that, any word processor will do. If you don't have access to any of that, try opening up a gmail account. I used to use google docs (I think they call it google drive now) to write basic things for school. You don't have to download anything for it (the download button, to my knowledge, is if you want to upload files from your computer to the drive) and you can create documents from there. I would suggest doing this a) so you can backup your stories in case the archive crashes and b) so you can have the time to read back what you're writing and proofread before submitting.

Two quick tips:

1) Try not to use the asterisks actions in chapters. Ie, *facepalm* It sort of reads like netspeak and can be a little distracting while reading prose.

2) Try not to apologize for anything you've posted, ie, the chapter title. As a general rule of thumb, don't post anything YOU think is horrible. I personally wouldn't have noticed (and actually don't think it's a horrible title, even now) if you hadn't pointed it out. It's always okay to say you're uncertain about the quality of something, to invite constructive criticism, but to outright say it's horrible kind of closes it off.

Lastly, (phew! what a long review!) here are things I think you were really good at. Your intro with Ollivander was well done and helped open up the story. You're also very good at dialogue--it's easy to read what the characters are feeling from it. And again, the idea! Mr. Ollivander is so old, and I love the idea of writing about his family, especially writing about someone that is shy and sweet and seeing them transform!

Author's Response: thanks so much for the advice! Sorry for responding a little late, but if you're interested in reading more I've put up a few more chapters :)

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