What am I supposed to do with you?? You get better with every sentence, I swear. And you're already an amazing writer, so that's really saying something.
Rose's jealousy is so dark and close to angry, she's red. Lily's innocence, not exactly that... I just can't think of the right word... but she's white. And they are both so contrasting to the other, then Scorpius is somewhere in the middle. We don't exactly know him, because we're only seeing him through Rose's eyes, but we know what he's doing to these two, and that kind of makes me hate him. Unintentionally, I'm not sure. But he's doing it regardless.
And you kind of just want to bundle Lily up and hug her and tell her to be happy. Because she's fragile. And then Rose's jealousy is almost frightening, but it's so painful that I just want her to be able to be happy.
The line about in Rose's 22 years she'd learned that the world would split open for Lily. I can't even imagine how accurate that would be. She's the daughter of Harry Potter and Ginny Weasley. She's beautiful I'm sure, and really characterized as a saint in fanfiction. Here she's more of a silly girl, and Rose's appraisal of what her cousin's world is like.. ah. It was just awesome.
You are the queen at emotions. I've never read anything quite like your writing that can just make me feel whatever it is you want me to. You're in complete control of your reader, you hook us and then force us to feel something . I've never read any of your stories and simply thought, that was great. Okay, moving on. They always stick with me.
Amazing work, as always.
Author's Response: Hi! This response is really late. I'm sorry!
Oh, this was a fun little experiment. I normally really hate next gen, so naturally I had to toy with it and try to strip it of cliches.
I think it's easy to hate Scorpius here, because he exists solely in the background. Both Rose and Lily have flaws and strengths right there, front and center, for you to see. I always pictured him as really not knowing the effect he has on Rose and Lily, and the conflict existing primarily within Rose, not even between the two girls vying for his affection.
I do see Lily as a little princess, and I can imagine Rose feeling like an ugly duckling in her shadow. Like Hermione, she's never quite secure in herself, never quite feeling safe. I tried to use Lily's perfection to amplify Rose's pain, and I'm glad you felt like that worked!
Wow, that's high praise! Thank you so much! I would like to think that all of my training has taught me a thing or two about human emotion, and I hope you enjoyed the ride :)
Thank you again for this lovely review!