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Review:redherring says:
I'm not a big reader of Founders era (I've got nothing against it, I just... don't, really :p) so I haven't read much about Helena Ravenclaw before, but I really enjoyed this.

I like your writing and felt that the style was very appropriate for the time period, both in narrative and in their speech. There were some really great lines in there too - I especially liked "a storm brewed under her blank face", I just thought it was really descriptive of her emotional state, and very sinister at the same time, hinting at the betrayal she is about to commit. I also really liked the details of your story, like the idea of the power of the diadem and the fact that eventually she could barely think for herself, and the idea of her wandering the forest luring in travellers with her beauty.

I did feel that maybe less-is-more with regards to the dialogue in the section about their death. That's probably my only criticism, though.

That ending is BRILLIANT. I really loved that last line, absolutely genius. It sort of surprised me, seeming really abrupt and sudden as it interrupted her private musings, so I thought it was good that you could make the reader feel surprised along with Helena. The Baron's use of 'not quite' again was witty, while also feeling rather ominous. I also liked that it touched on the idea of how difficult it must have been for the Baron and the Grey Lady to live (well, exist) in Hogwarts together for all those years. Must have been slightly awkward, I would imagine.

Great job with this! I really enjoyed it :)

Author's Response: Thanks for your awesome review! I'm always a fan of constructive criticism, so thanks for pointing that out, i'll take it into account :D
I'm glad you liked my story, thanks for taking the time to review!
~Gill


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