Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:Calypso says:
Hello, this is CalypsoJenna from the forums, here with your requested review!

Wow- this was so beautifully written! You write with such ease that words genuinely seem to flow off the page. I really enjoyed reading this- (I'm a sucker for a good love triangle) and you pulled it off beautifully.

Your characterisation of Rose and Lily was superb. I loved the contrast of Rose's rather dark, rather introspective nature compared with Lily's blind naivety. I thought the description of Lily as "the pretty girl in the frail dress" was spot on. You created such an interesting dynamic between them, because obviously they have been close since birth, but now there are all these other feelings getting in the way- from Rose's perspective at least.

Rose herself seems like a fascinating character- although I'm still not quite sure about how much I like her... (as a person. As a character, she's wonderful!) I liked her intensive, almost obsessive study habits- they fitted in very well with her obsession with Scorpius. The notes she wrote in her margins were wonderfully put, saying a lot very subtly about her developing feelings for him.
She actually seems like quite a dark character, which one doesn't often read and you've put her in this very complex emotional situation, caught between Lily and Scorpius and her feelings for each of them.

The consistent music imagery was very artfully done too. I enjoyed it a lot. Like so much of this story, the details of it were gorgeous and added to much to the overall reading.

The only tiny thing I can find to criticise was in the third paragraph- the references to Seven Wonders and the Four Horsemen didn't flow quite as naturally as the rest, and seemed a little shoe-horned in, but it is a very small thing and hardly detracts at all from the overall story.

So well done! So beautifully written- you have such a wonderful way with language (I could pick out examples, but I'd probably exceed the character limit!) This was a real pleasure to read!

-Bethany

Author's Response: Hello, and thanks for coming by! I'm sorry my response has taken so long--been quite busy.

It's awesome to hear that you liked Lily and Rose. I do think that line you picked out describes Lily as I had hoped to describe her to a T. You're also right in that one of the primary conflicts is Rose struggling over how to treat her longtime friend in the context of all these new and confusing feelings she has.

Rose is meant is be pretty dark. I wanted to take that persistence that can come with being school-focused and really draw it out into a kind of creepy obsession. Basically, I wanted to avoid all next-gen Rose cliches :)

I'm glad you picked up on the music imagery and felt like it fit. I wondered if I was throwing too many metaphors in there, but I really liked the way the music felt to me in the plot.

You make a good point. I wrote this kind of stream-of-consciousness, so down on the page it went when it came to mind, but perhaps it doesn't fit as well as the rest. Glad it doesn't distract too much from the story!

Your review was lovely. Thanks again :)

-Amanda


Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

Examples:
  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 164
Submit Report: