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Review:WitnesstoitAll says:
Hey!!

Here with your review from the forums review swap. So I was a bit hesitant when I read your summary. it sounded like a very complex plot, and sometimes (at least in my experience and observation) stories with in depth summaries tend to try to have the entire background of the story crammed into the first chapter -- but this was a breath of fresh air and found myself enormously relieved as I began reading it.

You did a phenominal job with building up enough curiousity and subtley providing information to hook a reader into the story. (THE LINE AT THE END?! ERMEHGERD.) And I thought you did really well writing a scientific setting despite not being of a scientific background (if I inferred your information from your A/N correctly). I am a scientist (biochemical biologist) in training and have worked in laboratories, and trust me, if I didn't find flaws with your descriptions, you are doing wonderfully!! I do have two small critiques for you regarding this chapter. 1.) the mention of your character wearing heels that clink across the floor... I think this is great b/c it really says a lot about her pristine sort of character, but in practice it is very dangerous and impractical to wear heels in a laboratory setting. The floors get really slippery when wet and there are often large grates covering drains in the floor that heels can get caught on. and 2.) you seem to have your research experiments based in the field of virology (both trials mentioned here) but at one point, the director suggest looking over the bacterial strain... viruses and bacteria are very different and viruses seem much better suited to the sort of inherited type thing that you're doing, so you may want to change that bacteria bit.

All in all this was a fabulous chapter and I'll likely keep an eye out for the next one!! Thanks for posting for a review swap, otherwise I'd likely not have noticed this story. :)

Author's Response: So! Over a year later I decide to respond to this review. Ugh, I'm so horrible at this. So sorry! The good thing is that you're getting one!

It is a very complex plot that I'm still trying to get all the details sorted out. However, I've learned that readers get bored when you try to cram everything in one chapter so. I know I do! So everything will be explained in a nice pace, at least that's what I hope. This chapter was meant more as an introduction to the new world and the new problem Harry's going to encounter.

And yes, you're absolutely right. I do not have a scientific background. The closet I have to it is a husband who went through some medical/science classes for his major and a sister who is going to be a nurse. But that's about it. I don't consider myself smart enough for the sciences. Haha. XD Anyway, I'm glad that you liked the scientific setting because I was definitely worried about that! Yeah, I kinda figured that wearing heels is a bit dangerous in that environment, however I figured she had sort of an 'admin' day where she didn't have to really be 'hands on'. However, I'll be definitely be keeping you point in mind in the future. And thank you for that second pointer!! I'll definitely go back and change that small bacteria bit.

Thank you for review and once again, so sorry for taking a YEAR to respond! I really appreciate your comments.

--Rosie


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