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Review:Violet Gryfindor says:
Wow! There was far more to this chapter than I thought at the beginning - you covered a lot of ground and did so with great success. None of the parts felt too short or rushed, yet you were able to give screen-time to each of the main characters in turn without losing track of either the pacing or the suspense.

I was particularly pleased to see more from Tom Riddle. It was interesting how easily spooked he was by the sound in the woods - it reminded me somewhat of Moody, and it makes me wonder who or what he expected to find following him. I hope to see more from him in future chapters - I keep feeling that there has to be more to what he's doing, and that somehow his personal mission will collide with his official one.

The action scene on the platform was fantastic, not that I'm surprised - you have a great talent for describing those scenes so clearly and keeping the readers on their toes the whole way. That moment when Duncan used the plank of wood was perfect! Especially with Moody's reaction that he could see the benefits of working with a Muggle - Duncan has this down-to-earth common sense while Moody works more in an intuitive gut feeling sort of way, so they work well together, even if it is, in Moody's words, an unconventional partnership (that's why it works, though, because it's unusual). I also liked how you portrayed Karkaroff and remembered to include his ranting and complaining - it was interesting to see him fighting against Moody because it connected directly with GoF. It's one of those kind of details that makes this story seem like it's part of canon - it has a solid authenticity to it.

This chapter could use a quick read through to check for things like the missing hyphen in "follow-up" and wordier phrasings like "and fumbled to recover his wand, which had landed several feet away from his when he fell" (the "from hi[m] when he fell" isn't necessary). But overall, this chapter is another great addition to the story. I'm excited to see what happens next with Anastasia infiltrating their mission and what other sort of twists you have up your sleeve. :)

Author's Response: Thanks a lot for such a detailed review!

I'm trying to maintain a tight balance with Riddle where he ostensibly is doing his official duties, but he clearly has his own agenda that will take center stage, so I'm hoping that that will be able to take form a little more in the coming chapters.

It was really relieving to hear that the platform scene worked for you. Most of this story is a lot of sneaking around with some short bursts of action, so I wanted to make sure those scenes came across with some excitement.

It took me a while to figure out the details, but I finally have the rest of the story outlined, so now I just have to sit down and actually write it. Hopefully it should be up soon!


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