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Review:Violet Gryfindor says:
Here from the Hufflepuff review tag, and I'm glad that I've had the chance to read this story. It covers a very curious incident in Moody's history - how an Auror of his experience could have been caught by a wizard not long out of Azkaban. For some reason, it's glossed over in the books, but that of course makes it perfect material for fanfiction. :D

What I like most about this story is how you portrayed Moody. You enter his thought process in an extraordinary way, capturing his paranoia, not as "madness", but as a sort of obsessive care. He overthinks everything to the furthest extreme, always seeing the world as a battlefield and always seeing the potential for danger. It's why he survived as long as he did, not to mention why he was so successful, yet it still had me giggling during the first half of this chapter. It was funny because I know people who think this way, and you captured it very realistically, taking Moody seriously rather than resorting to caricature as JKR sometimes does. (But there were actual humourous moments too, perfectly executed, such as Moody's thoughts of blasting holes through the wall to escape. :P)

There were a couple of places where the narration was on the wordy side, the syntax overly formal when something simpler would suffice (and still suit Moody's way of thinking). For example: He cast a spell on the door that would alert him to any movement near to it would sound smoother as "any nearby movement", especially since the next clause begins with "sealed it" - the repetition of "it" as you have it jars the flow. In another case you somewhat repeated yourself by adding for there was no possible way for the intruder to sneak around behind him to a sentence when the previous sentence had already explained it clearly enough.

Those were the two issues that stood out most to me when reading. Otherwise, I very much enjoyed this look into a missing moment of the books. Stories about Moody are difficult to find, and you did a wonderful job with his characterization. I look forward to seeing what you do next with this story! :)

Author's Response: Thank you so much for reviewing! I never really thought about how Moody was able to be captured until I had the idea for this story and decided that that was where I was going to start it. And then I had a lot of trouble figuring out a plausible way in which he could have been felled.

I'm so happy that you liked how I portrayed Moody and that you think that I did it realistically. I didn't want to write about him as a "joke"- I wanted to capture him in a more serious manner because this is a story centered around him.

Thank you for pointing those out! I will definitely go back and fix those sentences.

Thank you once again for reading and reviewing! I really appreciate your comments!


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