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Review:Elphaba and Boyfriends says:
Hi, here again from the review tag. I just had to review this one after seeing the rare Bill/Fleur pairing. :)

First of all, Fleur's accent must be tougher to write than Hagrid's but I think you do a great job with it! She definitely sounds like Fleur, but it doesn't seem over the top.

I really like that you write Bill acknowledging that she's arrogant, rather than writing him as blind to her faults; I think that shows that their relationship has legs.

I also really like how Fleur brings everyone together after the war to share their grief; I think this shows how she's grown.

The only critique I have is to watch the adverbs. For instance, I noticed "quickly" used twice during the section where Bill relives her memory and I think in both instances it could be removed.

Overall, great job!

Author's Response: Aww it was so sweet of you to stop by for two reviews ♥

Thank you so much for this amazing treat!

Ahhh this one needs to be edited pretty badly, I will definitely look over it, thank you for pointing that out!

Jami


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