Mmm yes, I can get Elena a bit on the whole 'rather be on her own' thing. Sometimes a girl's just gotta go on autopilot on her own life and make things simpler when everything else is complicated, even if she feels slightly guilty for neglecting her family and friends in the process.
I like the little bits of details you put into her appearance, because it's like the sort of details I would want to hear and isn't overtly gratuitous, though I think it's a bit too much at once in the beginning. You could probably spread it out all around slipping details here and there!
Ooh, Elena is such a bamfy professional. She doesn't feel cold at the same time, which I like, just very tired. Total kudos to writing a medical scene because I toootally can't grasp writing those, but your scenes look just like a medical drama in my mind xD
OOOH, mystery. WHAT ARE YOU DOING MYSTERIOUS MAN D: WHY ARE YOU BEING MYSTERIOUS. I think I would've even liked an even more urgent sense of... urgency (my words, what are they), but I do like Elena's handling of the situation, sort of just tired and snappish and like /stop grabbing me mysterious man/.
AND HE'S DEAD D: HE'S DEAD JUST LIKE THAT. OMG WHY IS THE MINISTER BEING MYSTERIOUS TOO? Okay granted he was kind of dying, but oh dear, what have you gotten yourself into, Elenaaa? If I were her, I would be utterly terrified and totally think this mysterious man was totally evil. Wouldn't even give him a chance to explain himself xD (oops, I see a typo: hoping her wouldn't notice is she pressed it.) GOOD SHE PRESSED THE BUTTON. Sensible girl. But, well, I suppose that can only help her so much from being dragged away :P
Aaand LET US FIND OUT WHAT IS UP!
Author's Response: Hola.
Yes, you're right about that bit. Elena doesn't really know how to handle much beyond her own life, at times.
Okay, I will try to redistribute descriptions. Thank you for mentioning that. :)
Medical scenes are fun to write, especially with Wizards because you don't have to worry about reality. Need a spell that can stop an injury, check. Need an injury that can't be cured by a spell, check. (it's like cheating only not).
Mystery Man (aka Simon) is being mysterious. I see your point about more heart racing drama/urgency being needed. Elena maybe is quite scared of the situation yet though. Like, she's used to dealing with crazy relatives of patients (and she doesn't know that Simon isn't a relative, really) and she's kinda shocked herself.
"Granted he was kind of dying" hahaha. Yes, that is true. But he still gets to be mysterious, wouldn't want Simon steal all the mystery. Elena is sort of floundering, yeah, but she was more doing a bad job at stalling than facilitating him. (And oops, a double typo!)
Yes, there is more to be found. And more reviews to respond to :)