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Review:Roots in Water says:
It's Roots in Water here with your review!

Ah- unorthodox interpretations- that's an interesting way to put the changes you've made to the traditional understanding of events. But I like it! :) Different takes on things is what makes us human and keeps this world interesting. Can you imagine what it would be like if everyone thought in the exact same manner? (But I'm getting off topic here... Back to your review!)

I really liked this chapter. You're definitely moving the story along and it's interesting to see a different concept of how Snape joined the Order. I liked how Dorcas kept thinking that someone should stay to fight, instead of running away, because when Snape finally became that person who was willing to fight it challenged the stereotype that all Slytherins are "evil".

As well, I liked how you wrote their interactions in this chapter. It was nice to see that they could look past the immediate House stereotypes to work together (however roughly). In particular, I liked the conversation they had about potions- it worked to ease their relations with each other and show Dorcas' intelligence. However, I felt that at times they were a little too casual with each other- I find it hard to imagine Severus discussing Dorcas' romantic troubles.

Once again I think that you did a great job with your description. You made it easy to imagine the bar (especially with all of the "classy" women). I really like how easily you're weaving the lives of Dorcas and Severus together (among other characters). Their interactions flow really smoothly and their meetings seem natural.

However, I was a little surprised when Moody only put up a Silencing charm befoe discussing Order business. I would have thought that he, as a very paranoid person, would have cast a few other spells to ensure that they couldn't be overheard, such as a spell to ensure that there weren't any Animagi within hearing distance. But then again, this could be before he learned to be that paranoid, since he is younger here...

As well, with the phrase "much too interested in hanging off his arm than Dorcas had ever been" I think that "more interested" fits better with the sentence and with the sentences " 'Sorry. What are you doing here?' (new paragraph) He looked pained for a moment, but then closed his notebook. 'I don't... never mind.' it sounds as though we're missing something between the paragraphs because Severus' shift in thought seems sudden (but that could just be me).

All in all, I think that you did a great job with this chapter. It did a lot to advance the plot as well as expand on (and introduce) your characters without seeming overfull. Thanks for requesting and please feel free to re-request!

Author's Response: Hello again!

That dialogue section was pretty tricky to navigate. I wanted to show that the characters not only knew each other, but also knew things about each other, and had a familiarity that they could build upon. It was hard to find the right words to convey that.

I honestly don't know how paranoid Moody was in this time period. It's anyone's guess, really. And thanks for pointing out that paragraph. I'll take a look at it again.

I'm very glad that you found the plot moving along and that the character interactions felt natural!

Thanks so much for another detailed review!


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