|Review:||Cherry Bear says:|
Gah. I honestly don't know what to say about this to sum up my feelings. It started out innocently enough; you somehow lulled me into thinking that, even though this is a story that takes place in the middle of the war, nothing major was going to happen. In fact, I sort of assumed Astoria would decide to fight, she'd run into her sister and have a brief conflict, and that would be the end of that. So you kind of threw me completely off-guard with that Imperius curse thing, but you did it in a spectacular way. Seriously, this was extraordinarily well-done, so good job.
I think my favorite part about this is the characters you manage to establish in less than 1000 words, which is no mean feat. How you give us so much insight into Celeste and why she doesn't care and how that, in turn, gives us a glimpse of what the friendship between her and Astoria must have been like. I think the sentence, "Astoria rather thought that Celeste saw the war as a deep inconvenience to her studies rather than the serious struggle it really was" really just says a lot in a little, and that's such a hard thing to do but you did it wonderfully. And I also liked your Daphne - so concerned about her siblings - and your Astoria, who wants to fight for all the wrong reasons, it seems. I can honestly say that I've never even considered what the Greengrass girls would do during the Final Battle, but I'm glad that you did and that you decided to capture it here. I've never read any stories about them before (that I can recall) so it's sort of a breath of fresh air to read this now.
That being said, I do have a little bit of criticism for you as well - hopefully it won't offend you, as that's not my intention in the slightest. I thought that the beginning was excellent pacing-wise but, towards the end, you started to rush all the action in a bit. I would've liked to see more insight into Daphne - understandably difficult, since this is told from Astoria's side. But it just felt a little...lacking in something, I suppose?
Anyway, another thing that I really liked about this was, after your shocking ending, I wasn't quite sure what side each of the girls was on. I'm not sure if that's intentional or not, or perhaps I'm just remarkably stupid, but I kind of liked the ambiguity of it all. I thought at first that, because Astoria was heading down to the dungeons, that that meant she was going to join the Slytherins - but then I realized that that could very easily mean she was going to fight them as well. Daphne's inclination to use the Imperius makes me believe that she's on the Dark side, but that's a silly assumption to make - especially since Astoria was also reaching for her wand, possibly to do the exact same thing, or to otherwise prevent her sister from interfering. So I'm really not sure what to think o___o
Which, in my mind, makes this an excellent story! I think this was a very good one-shot and I'm really happy I got the chance to review it...I also really don't understand how it only has 3 reviews, when it's so fantastic :o And with such an excellent title to reel readers in! (Another mystery: who is the fool and who is the hero? Or maybe they're both both...gah!)
Okay, enough of my incoherent ramblings. Good work! I may just have to check out some of your other writing (:
Author's Response: First off: I'm so sorry for taking over a month to answer this. My unanswered reviews built up while I was on holiday and RL has been so busy that it's taken me awhile to work through them, especially when they're lovely long ones like this that really deserve a thoughtful answer.
CC never offends me. I don't always agree with it, but it never offends me - and in this case, I totally see what you mean. I was worried about that, too. When I get the chance, I'm definitely going to go back to try and flesh the end out a little.
The ambiguity about which side the sisters were on was definitely intentional. People who've read some of my other stories (particularly my Rose/Scorpius ones) can probably figure it out, but I really liked the idea of keeping it unclear, since we know very little about Daphne and nothing about Astoria. I'm glad you liked it, too!
Thank you so much for the review. I'm sorry again for the delay - it won't happen again. I hope that if you do check out any of my other stories, you like them as much as this. :)