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Review:Beeezie says:
Hey! I'm here to review your challenge submission - sorry about the slight delay. :)

You had a really interesting take on the prompt. I know that you were a bit worried about it being too far away from the challenge, but I didn't think it was at all - it was an original take on what a Healer might have to deal with and overcome in their job. That's a good thing, not a bad thing. ;)

I liked the concept a lot - being a Healer when someone you love is seriously injured would be hard, but when someone you love is permanently incapacitated like Albus is, it would be even worse. You really communicated Lily's difficulty and anguish over the situation, and it was absolutely heartbreaking.

The only significant weakness I saw in this was that sometimes, I had a hard time following what exactly was going on. A little more detail and description in your narrative would have helped me a lot. As it was, the flashbacks sometimes felt a bit awkward, because you weren't immediately connecting it to her feelings - I could see how the conversation between her and Albus about her fight with James could apply, for example, but you didn't really provide any transition - it was just hanging there. Just a few sentences linking it with what was going on would have made the story flow more smoothly. (Ditto the other flashbacks.)

On the whole, though, this was a really nice entry. :) Thanks for entering, and I'll have the results up soon!

Author's Response: Thank you so much for the review and this wonderful challenge!
This was my first challenge submission and it was super fun. I also learned a lot which is great so thank you thank you thank you!

I'm glad that the concept wasn't too far away from the challenge :) I also understand what you mean about the flashbacks. They are a bit too disconnected and I'll try to fix that. Your advice on that was really helpful.
Thanks again!


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