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Review:Phoenix_Flames says:
Oh my goodnes, Amanda. This is one of the most BEAUTIFUL pieces I have read in a while!

Oh wow. I love how you went about this one. I really love second person pieces. I feel like they put me into the middle of the story more, and I feel like I really do feel more. And that was no different here. I could feel the emotion.

This was such a different take on any Lily/Severus that I've ever seen! But I loved it. Wow, coming from Lily's narration and that part with Harry in the office! That really pulled at me and moved me.

Then the wedding! I love how you said 'it sealed his fate' along that lines. Which in truth he did. He loved Lily so much. I can only imagine how he felt at that time, and actually I never thought about it if he was there or not. Intersting though, but now that I think about it, I bet he did go.

Just in general this was a flawless piece. I didn't see any grammar mistakes, and I thought it flowed brilliantly. Again, sometimes second person is hard to conquer but you did an awesome job with it and definitely conquered this piece! Great job, hun!

Author's Response: Hey Drue! Thanks for coming by, and I'm planning to come return the favor very soon :)

I definitely felt like I was taking a risk by trying both second person and non-chronological style for the first time in the same piece, but they both seem to have gone over well, so that makes me really happy. I had fun using both techniques and will definitely keep trying them out as I go on!

Different is often what I go for, but I'm always a little afraid that it will divert too far from canon, so it's great that you enjoyed the differences here. I tried to play up Severus's calculating intellect, which is one of my favorite qualities for him, and Lily's 'darker' side, as I imagined it. I'm happy that you felt like the emotions came through well here.

The wedding was really sad to write - it was weird juxtaposing what should be a happy occasion (because I'm not heartless enough to despite James/Lily wholly, not quite) with something so sad, the feeling of utter loss. Defeat, really, which is where 'sealed his fate' came from. When I consider his natural tendency to observe and propensity for being in several places at once, it seemed only right that he would also watch Lily in this moment, even as painful as her beauty must have been.

You're very kind. Thank you so much! :)

-Amanda


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