I read this chapter awhile ago, and I kept meaning to come back and review it, but I just haven't been able to find the time. However, once the second challenge was announced, this story popped into my head, and I knew I had to take advantage of the opportunity. :)
I'm continuing to love this story. Your prose was - as always - beautiful. I don't even like coffee, really, but I was drawn into your description in the first few paragraphs in particular even more so than usual. I can almost smell the coffee, and I suddenly really want to be there, typing away to do my part in the House Cup. :P It sounds absolutely lovely.
I also feel like you're continuing to show the barista's character in small, subtle ways. I'm not sure I'd say that you're developing it, exactly, because that isn't really the point of this (or at least, it doesn't seem that way to me), but you're also not just rehashing the same things over and over again. The story doesn't feel stale; I love the way you mentioned the teenage boy who's just started working there and the girl's reaction to him, both because it helped really bring the story and the barista to life and because it helped to segue into Molly again.
Hmm. I guess one way to put it might be that you're developing the story more than the barista? That's the way it's coming off to me, anyway, and I think it fits the story well.
The way you've developing Molly and the young man's relationship is perfect. I feel invested in it. The barista is as well, and maybe part of my being invested is just because he is, but I think that the bigger reason is that you've crafted a story in which there are subtle little things that I can't always even identify that make the characters feel dynamic and alive. You've drawn me into the barista's pov with your writing, so much so that I feel what he feels - that's difficult to do, and not surprisingly, you've done it beautifully.
I loved this chapter. Thank you.
Author's Response: That is so sweet that you thought of this story for the challenge. There are hundreds of stories out there and the fact that you thought of this means a lot. So thank you!
Want to hear a little secret? I'm not a huge coffee fan, either. I love the smell, I like going in coffee shops and there is just this warmth about them that I cannot describe. I have tried my best to encapsulate that here and the fact that you actually wanted to be there and that you could almost smell the coffee is just... wow. I wanted readers of this to really get a feel for the coffee shop and to actually hear someone say that they have is such a huge compliment. You have n oidea.
I'm glad you liked the young boy and young girl! If you squint, the young girl is actually mentioned very briefly in one of the earlier chapters. I'm not sure that I am developing the story more than the barista, I just liked having a tiny subplot developing in the background. I think that it will help me later on in a later chapter, but honestly? I just liked the little story between them. I'm glad you did, too!
That second last paragraph of yours - I don't know what to say in response to that. So I won't say anything.
Don't thank me! Thank YOU for leaving such a thoughtful review. It means so much.