|Review:||Toujours Padfoot says:|
Hello, fellow Gryffindor!
I can say without a shadow of a doubt that this entry is the most creative one I've seen. A dragon as the main character! I was absorbed from the very first line, reeled in by the atmosphere and storm and your lovely narration; you introduced the babe and I felt such pity for a child left all alone in the rain. And then we saw the mother, who was going to scoot close to it but didn't want to hurt it, and I was on tenterhooks trying to figure out what was going on. Imagine my surprise when you mentioned that the mother had wings!
Such inventive writing! You used the prompts in ways no one else has done, and unlike many of us, you didn't cram in all of the prompts because you wanted to retain the integrity of your story. Adding the wand details would have been superfluous, and would have detracted from this story. I'm glad you didn't sacrifice that for points.
I also appreciate that you didn't make the only human Neville. Charlie and MacFusty evened out the attention on that front, with Charlie arguably even more prominent than Neville. Still, Neville is heavily featured, so you fulfilled that prompt while still making it entirely your own. You have tremendous skills, definitely something to envy.
I did catch a few typos here and there, but they didn't distract much. This story, more than any others I think I've read for the Cup, has heart and depth to it. It could exist without the challenge, on its own, and that's one of the many reasons why it's my favorite entry.
Really, really well done. :)
Author's Response: I had so much fun trying to figure out when to actually slip in the fact that these two were Dragons. I was unsure about the wing part, because I have gotten the feeling some readers tend to skip through a bit and not exactly pay the closest attention, so I didn't want that very important line to be missed. But then I thought, 'what the heck, if they skim over it, it's their fault' haha.
Anyway, your review for this was amazing. You have no idea how wonderful you made me feel. I started out wanting to get all the prompts in, but I literally ran out of words. And I just couldn't handle taking anything out. Everything in it is important to the story, it makes you understand Delilah and help you know what she's already been through, what her main concentration is. After some serious debating, I figured this story would be up long after the house cup was over, and it was worth it to keep it as the one I really loved.
I was wondering if Neville actually was considered as being featured, but then I decided since he was the one that really made the promise to care for Calla, he had to be important, right ;)?
Something you envy? Have you ever read your writing? Crazy girl.
Okay, I'm done gushing, you are amazing and your review made me the happiest person ever.
Thank you so much!!