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Review:CambAngst says:
Hello, fellow Gryffie! I'm here to read and review your entry for the House Cup Task 1. And what an amazing entry it is!

So often in fan fic, people forget that Neville was an Auror for a time, so I thought it was terrific that you used that part of his life in your story. Your characterization of Neville was great. He's still plagued by a certain amount of self-doubt, but he's also able to remind himself of how far he's come and pull himself out of it.

Having him tickle the sleeping dragon was really clever. It flew right in the face of the Hogwarts motto and didn't turn out to be such a great decision. But Neville is able to recover and eventually find the correct approach. In the course of this part, I thought that you incorporated your prompts really well. Nothing felt forced or gratuitous.

Once he enters the cave, things grew a little darker and more ominous, which I thought was a nice progression. The empty room full of dementors was a frightening spectacle. If there was one thing in the whole story that felt like a bit of a stretch, it was transfiguring a rock into a broomstick. I think that would have read a little more smoothly if he'd been able to find something wooden, perhaps a tree root. Not a big deal, but it stuck out.

Neville's closing line to Ron was priceless.

Your writing was terrific. Everything flowed really smoothly and I didn't see any typos or spelling mistakes. Your descriptions were vivid and it was easy to visualize everything Neville was experiencing. Given the tight timeline, I thought this was an amazing piece of work!

Author's Response: Hey, CambAngst! It's so nice of you to stop by and read this!

I think that Neville's disposition is much better-suited for a quiet life of teaching Herbology, but I imagine that in his time as an Auror he would have been just as capable as all the others. He got pretty feisty in his Deathly Hallow days, after all, so this is not the same Neville Longbottom we saw losing his toad on the train back in first year.

I'm glad you liked Neville tickling the sleeping dragon. XD After I read the prompts, I flitted through several plot ideas but kept coming back to Hogwarts' motto, and thought it would be fun to actually use that in a literal sense.

I appreciate your feedback on the transfigured rock, and I think you're right. I rushed a bit quickly through that part; after your review I went back and changed it so that Neville kept the twig he stepped on in front of the dragon's lair, putting it into his pocket, and that's what he uses to transfigure into a broomstick. A bit more of realistic, I hope!

Thank you for your awesome review. Gryffindor ftw. :)


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