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Review:forsakenphoenix says:
I think this chapter was even less creepy than the first one, but it's not a bad thing. I think if every chapter was full of so much dread and anxiety, it would get overwhelming. That's not to say that you don't include small bits here and there that reveal how much the war has affected everyone (the part about no one sleeping well anymore and Jane checking for ambushes outside her window).

You know, for someone who is so low on the totem pole (Reagan calling her a dreg), it's kind of interesting to see how paranoid she is concerning her safety. It really adds to the feelings of dread you're trying to convey when someone who isn't all that important is worried about people attacking them.

I liked getting to hear from Lily in this chapter and I think it added a bit of normalcy to the chapter. Poor Lily, feeling overwhelmed by Mrs. Potter's determination to take care of her, but at the same time, her concern for Jane and Remus's relationship is really sweet. I think you did a great job with her character. She's obviously trying to root for their relationship, so I hope that means we'll see more of her.

Jane is giving me whiplash with her thoughts about Remus. :P One minute she's hoping he stays away, the next she's disappointed he isn't coming. I feel like it's very realistic for a relationship like theirs to be confusing and frustrating. You kind of wish they'd both come to their senses and work things out!

Reagan is an interesting character. She's very self-assured and bold - I don't think I would ever make that comment she did to Jane about being the dregs and how they must really be outnumbered if Dumbledore has to recruit the likes of her for a mission like that. She's obviously annoyed at not being allowed to do things like Sirius and I only hope that doesn't get her into trouble in the future, her rushing in to do something she was explicitly told not to. She seems like that kind of character.

I really hope Jane didn't do a bad thing by confiding in her, but her anxiety over it is making me a nervous wreck too. I'm anticipating something terrible happening.

Anyway, I'd love for you to rerequest so I can get to the third chapter, or I might get around to it on my own. I do think you have an interesting story here and I'd love to read more about Jane and her mission and her relationship with Remus. I like that you have conflict in different forms here, like the war and the relationship. I'm really curious to see how Jane deals with all these stresses and how she'll juggle her relationship with her mission.

Great job! Sorry this couldn't be more helpful. I'll work on it. :)

Author's Response: Don't be silly - you are very helpful! There will definitely be a lot more of Lily - among other things, I just really like her as a character, and I think that at this point she probably did know about Remus, which puts her in a bit of an awkward situation. I wanted to play with how I think she would navigate it.

And yes, Reagan is *exactly* that kind of character. I haven't decided yet what exactly she's going to do, but she's definitely that kind of person. (I'm fond of writing about that kind of person, haha.)

Thank you so, so much for your review.

And now that I have *finally* responded to your lovely reviews, I will pop back in and hope that you have space for me to request for the third.


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