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Review:academica says:
Hey Mel! I'm here with your requested review :)

I loved your use of second person - I think it's particularly effective when you're trying to emphasize how 'normal' a character is, because I think a lot of people can identify with being just an employee around clients or customers at work. I think the present tense works, too, because it put me in the mindset of the busy everyday atmosphere of the average pub.

The only things I noticed in this that could potentially be improved are the names. I think Rosemerta is actually spelled without the first 'e', and you put an extra 'a' in Salazar, although that might have been an attempt to mimic an accent.

I love your characterization of Rosmerta - in canon, I always got the impression that she was kind of tough and confident, and I like seeing a more vulnerable side here with the realization that she's just a 'fly on the wall'. I also like Caradoc - he seems like he has some fight in him, which I like.

I liked your imagery, especially the way you described the staleness of everyday life at the pub. I thought the piece flowed nicely, and I liked your writing style a lot. It just seems very natural and easy. I really enjoyed this, so feel free to re-request.

Great job, and I hope this review was helpful :)

-Amanda

Author's Response: Hey, Amanda!

Thank you so much for this review! I really appreciate hearing feedback from you. Ah. Second person and present tense... both are so foreign to me, but I'm glad that they seemed to suit this piece. It was challenging to balance description and still keep with the rhythm of the piece.

I'm glad you enjoyed this chapter and will most likely rerequest in the future. Thank you so much!
Melissa


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