|Review:||Cherry Bear says:|
I'm always extremely envious of people who can pull of humor, because it's always been the hardest style of writing for me. You, my dear, have done a brilliant job with this piece. I love how ridiculous the whole thing is, and I honestly cannot decide what I found funniest. I liked how James used the word 'bro' and how Sasha actually said 'omg' and Lucy's love for/weird obsession with Lysander and how shaving razors are apparently dangerous weapons and the line, "On the other hand, it didnít really matter what happened to Jamesí face anymore; his half-shaved leg was enough to send anyone screaming from the room, Hogwarts and Scotland". You definitely made me laugh here, mostly out of sheer disbelief at how random this is haha.
Your character choice here was extremely refreshing. I liked how, out of all the Weasleys, you picked Lucy and, instead of confining her to a stuffy, boring characterization, you made her just a wee bit insane (in the best way possible). I also like how, instead of going with some random OC like most Next-Gen authors seem to do whenever James is concerned, you picked Lorcan. I think this might be the first time I've seen Lorcan written as a female, too, so that was definitely a breath of fresh air. And your James wasn't too shabby either - it was nice to see him not portrayed as a typical arrogant prat. He seemed much more childish and fallible in this, and that's a side of him that I don't think many authors have considered but that definitely needs to be explored more, in my opinion.
I don't really have anything to criticize you about. I didn't catch any typos and I thought this was pretty well-written. There was a perfect balance of dialogue and description (something that's difficult to do, so congratulate yourself on that) and I really enjoyed how you managed to build the humor up. At first, it was just Lorcan taking a bath with some ducks and toys. Then she's shaving her legs and then somehow James is shaving her legs. And then all of a sudden the bathroom's flooding and Sasha's screaming and the hilarity just keeps on increasing. I guess what I'm trying to say is that you managed to keep my interest throughout this piece by progressively upping the funniness (:
I can't really think of anything else to say. This was really brilliant and I'm definitely curious as to what your serious pieces look like if your humorous pieces are this well-written. Excellent work!
Author's Response: Hehe thank you so much! I do love to try humour, but because I've sometimes got a bit of a weird sense of it, not much of my humour writing actually gets posted. I'm so happy that you found my ridiculous writing funny! I completely loved writing these characters, because they're all so random and I just enjoyed writing them so much :D Hehe that line is prett random, but I fugured that if I threw in all these mean/weird/silly/awesome characters together, it was gonna turn out a little random ;)
I LOVE Lucy whenever she's written as an original MC because she's real, and other than that, she's always confined to the just-like-Percy stereotype! I had so much fun making her come out the box and defy a load of the stereotypes as well as keeping some in place, and the same with Lorcan too - she's a girl, but not completely loopy like her mum was. I've only ever seen her as a girl once, but it was really nice to explore! And I was just so sick of the arrogant prat James that I wanted to create someone who fitted in with my head-canon of him and was a new brand of idiot :P I'm really glad that you want to read more about him - that means I've done SOMETHING right :D
Ooh yay for flow and lack of typos! That's pretty rare because I'm not that great at editing my own work haha. And I'm so pleased that the balance between description and dialogue was okay; it's something I constantly struggle with, and I found it difficult in this piece especially. I'm so glad you enjoyed the build-up and that it didn't get plain weird with the ridiculousness, and I'm so glad it was attention-keeping (if that makes sense!) :D
Hehe thank you so much for this lovely review! :D