Tagging you from the Review the Person Above You thread in the common room.
You picked a very unconventional character for a piece like this and then you did a magnificent job with it. Fleur is usually portrayed as either very unsympathetic (the way Ginny always saw her) or very aloof in fan fics. You didn’t completely put that characterization aside, but you added this amazing depth and complexity to it. I think you mostly summed it up in this one line: “He knew he loved this woman; this misunderstood, spoiled, conceited, caring and selfless woman.” – What a fantastic description of Fleur. It encompasses the good and the bad so tidily.
The memory of Fleur defending Gabrielle from the drunken wizard was shocking and powerful. It had shades of her performance from the Tri-Wizard, but much more intense and without the obvious constraints of being an underage witch in a closely-monitored competition. The ferocity was probably the farthest I’ve ever seen anybody go with her Veela blood-fired anger, and I really liked it.
The moment that she and Bill share in the hospital wing of Hogwarts was also really lovely. The only thing I found just a tiny bit awkward about it was the idea that Molly had Bill ready to marry Tonks in her own mind. I’ve always been more of a Charlie/Tonks shipper if she’s not going to be with Remus, so maybe that’s just my perspective coloring things. But the depth of her painful confessions to Bill and her love for him came through so strongly. The way you have her admit that she craves the attention and adoration of other people was, again, an unconventional choice and I think you did great things with it.
And finally there’s the heart-breaking scene in Shell Cottage. What you’ve written is beautiful. I don’t think I’ve ever seen the post-war grieving process portrayed like this, and I thought it was a really lovely idea. Fixing on the good memories and contributing them to what I can only assume was some sort of “memory album” in the penseive was a really clever idea. And having each character explain their hurt seemed like a great first step for the healing process. Mostly, I wanted this scene to be longer. I wanted to hear Ron mourn a little for Lavender (let’s assume for the moment that she died from Greyback’s attack) and for Fred. I wanted to hear Hermione mourn for Dobby and talk about what his sacrifice meant to her. I wanted to hear Ginny talk about poor Colin and Tonks, who was such a good friend to her. I know that you had to draw a line somewhere, but this was so lovely that I just wanted it to go on and on...
The pregnancy scene had me a little confused at first. Not so much that I couldn’t figure out where it was heading, since we all know more or less when Victoire was born, but rather that it took Bill so long to catch on to what was happening. Maybe she just caught him before his coffee or something. I did love his reaction, though.
I feel almost bad about pointing them out, but I did see two small typos:
-- “Itdoes not! I can protect myself!” - It does
-- “As if she had been reading his mind, she tuned and sent…” - turned
This was a terrific piece. It really showed off your emotional range as a writer. Thanks for a great morning read!
Author's Response: I love your reviews! I want to write more, just to get more reviews from you!
Bill is a very intelligent Wizard, he was raised to believe in family, loyalty, and above all courage. I was never able to picture him marrying someone just because they were beautiful. Fleur is fascinating to me. We know because of her entry into the TWT that she is smart, her love for Bill even after the attack shows her loyalty, and the fact that she still wanted to marry him and didn't care about his scars showed that she's not exactly shallow, just conceited when it comes to own appearances.
I felt sick for putting Gabrielle in that position, even the idea that it could have happened, but I did want a way to show just how far Fleur would go to protect what is hers.
I'll have to look over that paragraph and see if I can find another way to demonstrate that insecurity. Maybe simply saying something about how she knows his family would rather him be with a . I don't know. I'll have to think on it :).
It was so hard to stop with the grieving scene! I wanted to do each one, I wanted to have Ginny talk about how it felt when Harry was brought out and they thought he was dead. I wanted Ron to struggle with losing Fred, wanting to comfort George but was barely able to help himself. Could he have saved any of them? Ahhh. I might have to go back to it. The only issue I'm having is this is technically for a true love challenge, so I don't want to stray too far.
Poor Bill! He just wanted to make sure his wife was okay, and almost gets his head snapped off. Well, considering pregnancy tests are most accurate in the morning, there is a very good chance it was early and his coffee hadn't kicked in, haha ;)!
Thank you so much again, I really, really love your reviews!!!