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Review:ScorpiusRose17 says:
hi there!

Okay so I know that it has taken me awhile to get to your review, but here I am. I've read the entire story up to this point and I fully intend on reviewing each chapter. As I noticed in the review thread you were most concerned with chapter 8 so that is where I decided to start.

I thought that the characterization was really well done. Al went crazy as any older brother would given the situation, I also thought that you did a great job with Jake. He is very confused and needs to think. These all tie in together as making their reactions feel appropriate for what is happening. I really liked how you made it so believable as to how they would respond.

I felt like I was right there watching this all unfold. It is a real subject in which quite a few people can relate to. This chapter in particular was highly appropriate for a typical response for a guy, but it is also a justifed reaction/response.

I thought that the chapter flowed well. You still have some capitalizations that are missing, but I noticed it was a lot less then before. The chapter isn't confusing when it transitions from paragraphs and feels quite natural.

I really like this story and I will be adding it to my favorites!

Keep up the awesome writing! You're doing great! =)

-SR17

Author's Response: Thank you :D
I'm glad Jake came off good, since I was concered about him.

I've now got a beta for this story so it should improve even more once they get edited.
I'm glad you like it so far.

Thanks Again ♥ :D
-potterfan310


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