Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:Aderyn says:
Hello! I'm here from the Review Battle!

So I'm glad to read more of this story! I love the element of mystery you added to the story, perhaps of Bill and Fleur.

Interesting that Fleur must also work at the restaurant. It seems a shame, though I guess she needs the money. And I can see why she would hate it there. But that definitely makes me sympathize with her more.

The next part is very interesting! I'm glad they got to go to Mhairi's house finally. You did a wonderful job with the descriptions. Even as Bill was interpreting them, they told the reader so much about what potentially happened. It sounds like real crime scene examination work, almost.

Also, I love that you still have Fleur make mistakes in English. Her saying "What are you making?" is such a perfect mistake too, because in French the very for "to do" and "to make" is the same, though I'm sure you know that.

Overall, another good chapter. This story just keeps getting more interesting, especially now! And the dynamic between Bill and Fleur is certainly changing as well. I'll try to read more when you update! :D

Author's Response: Hi there! :D

I'm really glad you've come back to read more! I love dabbling in mystery a bit, though I'm hopelessly inexperienced in that area, and do hope that Bill and Fleur don't seem too contrived as they go through the problem :P

I feel almost guilty for making Fleur work at the restaurant... but I just can't see how else she'd get the money, since she no longer has access to her parents' accounts! Also I'm glad that it makes her seem more real and sympathiseable, because otherwise I'm at risk of letting her become the spoilt brat who still has it all.

Yay, I'm so glad that the crime scene worked! I was worried that the descriptions were overly long and boring, but I wanted to show the reader around the scene as though they could follow the trail of clues left too, and I'm so glad you could follow it :D

Hehe yes, it's a mistake that a French friend of mine used to make a lot, and since Fleur did come over to improve her English, I figured that she'd still need correcting sometimes!

I'm really glad you liked this chapter, and that there's interest gathering! I just hope the Bill/Fleur dynamic isn't changing too fast :P and thank you so much for a lovely review! :D


Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

Examples:
  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 492
Submit Report: