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Review:SunshineDaisies says:
Aw Georgie's making a move!

Okay, in all seriousness, my reviews for this are getting shorter and shorter, because there's so little for you to work on! There's nothing I see that needs to be changed or altered in anyway, the things that DO need work are just things that you should add.

For example, each chapter generally only has one moment that progresses the plot. Putting in a smaller moments, and maybe a subplot or two would make each individual chapter more interesting. It shouldn't be that hard, really, you have to main problems going on: George/Brienne and Brienne's mother. Obviously, you can't give too much away about the back story, because I'm sure you've planned out what's going to happen there (or maybe not. I don't plan that much while writing), but there's so much other stuff you can do with that. Brienne is obviously still grieving the loss of her mother, and grief is a long, exhausting process. There's a lot to explore there.

I would also recommend a bit more characterization at each turn. You're doing a really good job with Brienne, but the secondary characters are certainly lacking a bit. I would add a few more interactions, conversations etc. to help develop them a bit.

Otherwise, you really are doing a great job!

Author's Response: Hi! :) Thank you very much for your review! I think the whole characterisation thing continues and builds up a bit in later chapters, but I agree that it could be done a bit more earlier on :) Thank you for pointing it out! And I'm glad you're enjoying it :)

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