Heeeyyy, finally back for another review. I'm not really sure what you want me to talk about here, so I'm probably just going to ramble. Kay? Kay.
So. HENRY! Yay! I love the way you described him; I could really tell that Keira cares about him a lot. That being said, it's nice to know that she does find faults with him, like when he was "nagging" her about being safe. Maybe this is just her little pet peeve or something, I don't know, but it felt like it could be something bigger. So even though Keira holds Henry up pretty high in her mind, she realizes that he isn't perfect, which is great.
I had one question about the Henry scene, though. They're all running furiously back to Ravenclaw Tower to escape Filch and talking about McGonagall catching them out of bed, but didn't Reyna and Keira just get done with detention? And didn't Henry /just/ get back to school? What I'm asking is wouldn't they sort of have a "free pass" because they both had reasons for being out of bed? I don't know, that just bothered me a bit.
Oh, and Keira says, "My spotless record was in tact." But she just had detention...?
Loved the Ravenclaw riddle ♥
I LOVED Keira's reaction to Madison; it was so perfectly girly and jealous. Her snide little thoughts about dear old Mads were pretty entertaining, I thought, and I adored how she just casually slipped in "boyfriend" during this bit: "Henry! You're back!" she shrieked, wrapping her scrawny arms around my boyfriend.
The Fat Lady was fun and seemed very Canon to me. And GAH I loved Sirius interrupting them; I really like the fact that we haven't seen a lot of him yet. I mean, I know that something's going to happen with him and Keira, obviously, but I like that you're taking things slowly right now and kind of keeping him enigmatic. I always enjoy reading his comments, even if they're only a few short sentences.
I'm not quite sure how I feel about the Barton potions scene yet. I mean... I don't know. It felt almost unnecessary to me. I just - I didn't really see a point to it as of now. Maybe this will become important later on in the story; I don't know what's going on in your head, so I can't really judge. But I'm just personally meh on it right now.
I must confess that I'm still rooting for a Keira/Remus sometime in the future. I mean I like Henry and everything, there's nothing wrong with him, but I still adore Remus. He's always been my favorite :D So, if you haven't written too far ahead yet... Hinthint. Winkwink.
I honestly don't think I have a lot more to talk about. I thought everything about the flow and pacing was fine, and there were very few grammar mistakes that I noticed. There were a couple, yes, but they didn't really bother my reading at all. I really enjoyed the chapter overall; my eyes just wanted to skip ahead down the page. Even though it was fairly long, it felt really short while I was reading it. So good job on that :)
Okay, that is all for now. I bid you farewell!
Author's Response: You take as long as you like. I'm happy to wait forever for your reviews. XD
Oh god, yes. The beginning certainly isn't my favourite, and it will certainly be getting some editing when I have inspiration. I'll go fix the 'free pass' and detentions thing ASAP though. (This is what happens when I don't edit my edits... *sheepish smile*)
But I am glad that you like Henry here though, because I love him (way more than I planned to actually. It's a bit of an issue... :/) Oh, and Madison. Dear oh dear. My favourite character she is *cough* but she's excellent fun to write and I love using her to stir drama, hehe.
I actually had SO much fun with the Ravenclaw riddle. Seriously. WAY too much fun coming up with that, haha. I'm glad that you loved it though. That makes me happy. ^_^
Sirius! That was actually my beta's idea (isn't she brilliant?) and I had so much fun writing that. Getting into Sirius' head is great fun. I'm glad that you like his little appearances every now and again. They become far more regular as the story goes on though. ;)
I get what you mean about the potions scene. It's sort of relevant to something i'm working on including later, but I agree that it's not the best. It'll be getting editing along with the rest of the chapter when I get inspiration as to how to fix it up a bit. Cheers for the comments though. It's good to get feedback on stuff like that, because I have a better idea of which bits actually need to go/get re-worded, etc. :)
Haha, Remus is a favourite of mine too, although he doesn't get paired with Keira, sorry to disappoint. I'll try and work in yet another character (equally sarcastic and opinionated, of course :P) for him later down the track, yes? I still have a whole cast of characters that haven't been introduced yet, and others that I wish to expand upon.
Thanks so much for yet another brilliant review, and I do believe I've already re-requested. (I'm a constant pest, I'm well aware :P)
- Adele :)