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Review:Kwan says:
Two things: I love Cold War era material and I love stories with a historical and political backdrop.

Honestly, you could have written 5,000 words about two people sitting across from each other in a staring contest and as long as they spoke a little bit of Russian, I would have given it a 10/10.

Thankfully, you've written a bit more than that and most of it is fantastic. I particularly enjoy the settings and international awareness of the story. Everything from the descriptions down to the names are on point and really immerse the story in this sort of Bond-esque feel. Evil Russians? Check. Beautiful woman? Check. The Evil Russians are actually being manipulated by an Evil Englishman? Check.

Young Moody is also a character that I haven't frequently read and I'm enjoying his already early paranoia and hope that we'll see how he lost his eye and his leg in this story. No doubt it'll be from either Riddle or Anastasia but as far as origin stories go, you're paying Moody his respects so far. The only little tidbit that I think you overlooked was that Moody didn't know how to tie this 'Muggle' thing. Seeing as how he went to Hogwarts and everyone at Hogwarts wears a tie, I assume he would have at least had a spell for it. But it's a very minor thing and I understand why you had him struggle with it.

Duncan, as an OC, is also well written if not very deep. True, you need a vehicle to take you to all these places and Duncan is very likable, but I'd like to see a bit more depth brought to him. He's funny and engaging and definitely a good partner and a good viewing lens from the Muggle perspective, but I hope he doesn't get short serviced in favor of your other fantastic characters so far.

I have mixed feelings about Anastasia though. On one hand, I do like her strong character and her hesitancy towards Riddle. Riddle is well written so far, though he's hardly had any time on paper (I love the Albania reference). But she strikes me as very Mary-Sue so far. Beautiful, insanely smart, but with certain moral qualms, I hope she doesn't follow a predictable character arc. That's not to say she's a poorly written character, but I think she's more of an archetype than say Duncan.

As far as your technical ability as a writer, I think it's fantastic. You pace it very evenly and seamlessly blend through different POV's with enough uniqueness in each so we don't get entranced into bland POV's. Your sequence involving Riddle beating Anastasia's test as particularly well done and thought provoking. Moody and Duncan's infiltration into the camp is also inspired as a blend of magic and Muggle thinking. It's as if you take the Bond gadgets and substitute them with magical ingenuity. All of it is top notch to be honest.

So keep on writing and I hope you update soon!

Author's Response: Hey thank you so much for such a detailed and in depth review!

Isn't this a fascinating era? And I love how nobody's really written about it in the HP context, so its pretty much a blank slate.

I think Moody is one of the most intriguing characters in the series, and since we know almost nothing about his past, its fun to get to make it all up.

I've used Duncan before in my other long story, so in my head he already seems really developed, so its easy for me to forget that many readers of this story are seeing him for the first time.

I realize that Anastasia pretty much seems like the typical Bond girl so far, and honestly that's pretty much what I was going for. Without giving too much away, all the major characters will face important decisions which will give them a little more depth. But ulitmately this is a plot driven story, so character development was never going to be the main focus.

Thanks again for the great review!


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