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Review:goddess faith says:
This is a good start. I can't wait to see the other chapters. Two things though. Use more periods instead of commas. A lot of your paragraphs were run on sentences. And capitalize the first letter of every new sentence. Other than that it was good. Kind of cool to read about Molly when I am writing about Lucy, lol. Can't wait to read more!
~Goddess Faith

Author's Response: thanks for the review and the tips :)
lucy appears in it more as it goes on
-potterfan310 x


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