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Review:Beeezie says:
I am finally here to review this!

I really like this story. I mentioned in my last review that I really love historical stuff, which you've got in abundance - how can you not, writing about a vampire that's hundreds of years old?

Your description is terrific. There's enough that I have a clear picture of what's going on and don't feel weighed down by dialogue, but there's not so much the story drags. It's very well done. The one thing I would have liked to see a little more of would be little things - especially things like the tone of their voices - that gets the mood across better. Toward the end in particular, when Henry is giving him the girl, just a little more detail about how they were speaking or their movements would have helped really make the scene pop.

My only issue with the time skips was that they felt a bit haphazard. Don't get me wrong - I like time skips a lot, and I don't think that they need to lead into each other perfectly or have a very linear connection. However, the third one just felt a little confusing to me in the context of the other two - I would have liked maybe a little more in 2022 before the backtrack.

I'm afraid I'm not articulating myself very well. Does that make any sense at all?

On the whole, though, excellent chapter that I really, really enjoyed. :)

Author's Response: I love historical stuff so much, it's a good job I do writing about an old vampire. LOL.

I'm not exactly what you mean. There wasn't really much he was doing and I didn't want the scene to drag or readers to be bored. But there is a lot more of 2022 to come. There are a few 'flashbacks' in this fic. To tell the story of what he's doing, why he's doing at, and so characters you meant later don't just pop up and you end up thinking "who's this and where did they come from," but they're not every chapter.

If I haven't gotten what you meant, feel free to PM me on the forums. I'll happily answer any questions.

Thank you. :)

Sam.


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