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Review:dirtydeedsdonedirtcheap says:
Hey! I'm coming from the Gryffie review thread!

To be honest I would have passed this story if I clicked on it solely because of the first few paragraphs. I actually really liked the idea, I thought the way you wrote from James's POV, well, it was fantastic! You really got into a teenage boy's head and did something that not many other do: you acknowledged his hormones. Not in a way where it's just 'I have these raging hormones and that's it. No, you really delved deep into his urges and I thought it was brilliant. Really funny stuff.

It's the first paragraphs, I would have liked to see you only give us a little bit of information on who your OC's were and their situation. You don't have to tell us everything all at once or even their physical descriptions in one go. Throw it around the chapter(s), sprinkle inside sentences for flow.

Other than that this is shaping up to be a funny story!

Author's Response: Oh dear. Thank you, and Phewww, I was really worried I'd completely failed at writing as a guy, so your words of boostiness/confidence/reviewiness have made me ridiculously happy :D ans thank you, i do my best.
Yeah quite a few people have said about that *mentally slapping myself repeatedly* Ooopsies. :/
Thank you :)
X


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