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Review:SilentConfession says:
For a first story this is good and congrats on posting your first one! It's always scary and exciting at the same time to do so!

First off, your eleven year old Rose seems very similar to that of the books. I like how she's displaying a lot of Hermione's qualities, having already made sure that she is completely prepared for Hogwarts. Also, it is nice that she seems to be getting that from talking to people rather than books so she's not a complete replication of her mum.

I also like how you have these new professors as many people try to reuse the ones from Harry's era but many of them would be getting pretty old by this time.

This story is very dialogue driven, which is okay, but be sure to balance it out with narrative and description so the readers knows what's going on around your characters. It's the details that make a story really great. You have some nice ones started, but perhaps capture some of the feelings of seeing Hogwarts for the first time, even thought Rose was prepared, i'm sure she was awestruck by the castle.

The transition between the train and the sorting seemed a little quick and too fast for me. It might be more effective to slow it down a bit and give a little description in there so that it isn't quite as choppy.

There were a few sentences that were a bit awkward and wasn't sure what you were referring to. The Double U for a surname, for one, didn't make much sense to me, i'm assuming someone had that last name of some sort. It would have been nice to see that student move from the pack of first years just to carry on that thought.

Rose installing an uncomfortable silence... does that make much sense? Was she creating it or was she breaking it? I would probably suggest a beta, they are lovely creatures and it's always good to have a second pair of eyes. I know, for me, i get sick of rereading my own work and stop picking up on my own mistakes.

Overall though, i think you are off to a great start so far and i wonder what you have in store for Albus and Rose. By the way, i loved Albus' embarrassment for getting his dad's card, that was a nice characterization of how he seems to be uncomfortable with the fame associated with him. Great job.

Author's Response: Thank you tons for this very helpful review!
I'm going to edit the whole story correcting mistakes and adding some more description. I have already been told of getting a beta, so I'm thinking on that. right now, I have some others stories (for my first challenges :P) to submit so I'll try to work on that as soon as possible.
Thanks again and a millionth time!

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