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Review:SilentConfession says:
Hi! I'm back for your final review request on this story.

This was a great look into Hermione Granger and what she could have been feeling at such a moment. You really don't have to worry about her characterization because i feel like you did a really great job with her. I liked some of the simple sentences like she didn't know why she packed he books other than it would feel weird for her pack to be so empty. It kind of also portrays the Hermione who is also always over prepared for anything. I really enjoyed this chapter really and how you highlighted her moments of doubt and how she didn't always like being the one with the plan and being the smartest witch of her age. Those are definitely something i could see her feeling and i didn't see myself questioning anything that was going through her head.

I really liked how she thought of her relationship with Harry and how it blossomed. I've never been 100% sold on the idea of their relationship but i felt like you really gave story about how part of it came from the shared glances, the missing Harry and how suddenly it wasn't him who was holding their friendship together as it didn't seem weird to have him missing. I thought it was a nice progression of how they became stronger.

Another thing i really enjoyed was the paralleling stories of these two woman and how different they are and how they handled the war. The titles of your chapter really portray it well. Ginny is yearning for something more, maybe to be involved more, and Hermione, whose been involved all along things nostalgically back to Hogwarts.

The only comment i have is when she is thinking of Harry and then goes on to say it's his fault that the her memories will now be tainted, maybe make that first thought more clear that she means Voldemort. Perhaps making that a new paragraph just to be clear she isn't thinking of Harry anymore because i felt that transition was a little awkward and i had to go back and reread it. Or even italicising the he so we feel there is a change in thought.

I could almost suggest a little more visualization. I say this because i'm such a visual person and i need to have something more visual than a train of thoughts to follow otherwise i feel my mind wandering. I don't mean action just something else that sort of grabs the attention of imagination. This isn't a huge point because i think you did a good job with this generally and i was interested in this as i read along.

Honestly, i liked this and i think it was well done, especially since there is absolutely no action in here but just a train of thought. This is usually a very hard thing to do but you did a great job with it. Thank you for requesting me and i hope that you found my comments helpful. :D

Author's Response: I'm so glad I did Hermione justice. I really like her as a character and I wanted to put myself in her shoes as a young girl with so many responsibilities and expectations, even more so than other young women her age. Whereas Ginny has been left behind and perceived to be inadequate to deal with the harsh struggle ahead in looking for the Horcruxes, Hermione has been forced into the role of Harry's companion and the "one with the plan". I noticed some of that frustration coming through when I watched the first part of DH, when Harry and Ron would constantly turn to her and ask what to do next and she didn't always have the solution right away.

Thanks for the other points you made, too. I may go back and put more emphasis into that line about Voldemort, because I think it's one of the better lines in this piece and I want to make sure people know I'm referring to Voldemort. As for the imagery, I'm a big fan of it as well, so maybe I'll return at a later time and try to describe the scene a little more just to firmly set the tone of bleakness.

I really do appreciate your kind reviews! I'll most likely be back to request for other stories in the future. Thanks again! :)

academica


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