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Review:Jenna822 says:
So, I'm finally getting over here. It's been so busy lately, but I certainly didn't forget.

This story is already off to a great start. I love the way you're using the muffins and Fleur's personality is wonderful. There just are not enough Fleur stories out there, so I'm more than happy to see this one. :) And I think you have done a good job with her, even in this short introduction. I didn't see the Roger thing coming. At first I was almost afraid this was a "secret Fleur/Charlie" story (based on the summary) so I was really biting my tongue the whole time. But Roger! Now that's something new. ^.^ And so very very canon. I love hints of canon.

Your writing style is lovely and your story flows well. The only thing was, the accent. You seemed a bit sporadic with it. Try reading over the dialogue out loud and that may help. Words with an H sound should be ' and TH gets the Z. Words like "Yes" wouldn't need an accent. But seriously, writing accents is very hard to do anyways. And it doesn't detract too much from the story.

Very nice first chapter. Now on to the next... *clicky*

Author's Response: I'm so happy to see your reviews! Thanks for stopping by :)

I agree that Fleur isn't featured enough. After having written her, I can see more and more how interesting and complex she really is. As to your other point, oh, no, I would never write a Fleur/Charlie! That's a little too much drama for me, I think, haha :) Roger is barely ever mentioned at all, so I wanted to find a creative way to "reunite" him with Fleur. And I tried to keep things as canon as possible, so I'm happy you could appreciate that.

You're so right about the accent, and it is tough. I'm pleased that it doesn't detract too much, and maybe I'll get better at it if I write more Fleur or try out other characters with accents. I'm glad that you liked my writing style and the flow, however!

Moving on to the next response :) Thanks!

academica


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