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Review:slytherinchica08 says:
This was a really beautifully written chapter, very interesting. I love the idea and that you have the story starting when Andromeda left for Ted Tonks. I think this is a very original idea and I absolutely loved it.

As for characterization, where to begin? It was wonderful. I love how you have protrayed Narcissa. You have her as someone who did love her older sister and was upset when she left but yet at the same time she didn't want to disappoint her parents especially her mom. Lucius was very well done as well. Here he isn't portrayed as the blood thirsty horrible man but as a concerned man for someone who he is interested in.

I love the courting, that he takes her out for dinner to save her from questioning because he thought something had happend to Narcissa though I was thinking it was going to be the proposal but I'm glad it wasn't because this seemed so much better. I love the gesture of having him take her hand both when they meet and depart and leave a gentle kiss on her hand, it was very sweet.

Your description throughout the chapter was wonderful. I absolutely loved it! It all expanded on each other and was written so wonderfully that I was able to picture it around me. With Narcissa constantly wringing her hands indicating that she was nervous to the description of her pumps clicking along the floor in Malfoy Manor to the Malfoy Manor in general was all just really wonderful.

You asked about the departure of Andromeda and the reactions of the black family. I thought it was a nice show, her mom gets angry, her dad doesn't even put down the newspaper, Bella is just Bella (wierd and happy to have her go), and then there is Narcissa who is actually rather sad to see her sisiter leave. I thought it was interesting to have these different types of reactions but I think it fits perfectly.

I really enjoyed this chapter. Its very original and a great read. I feel like you have put a lot of thought into it and that you have done a great job with this beginning chapter. I think this has set the stage beautifully. Great Job!

~Slytherinchica08~

Author's Response: Hey there!

Thanks for your lovely review. I do have to point out that this is a one-shot, not the beginning of a longer story, but I'm glad you thought I set it up well anyway :)

I'm so happy that you liked my characterization and thought I did Andromeda's departure well. You pretty much hit the nail on the head with your assessments of my characters, so it seems like I came across as I intended to, which is great.

I'm also glad you found it sweet. I'm pleased that you found the plot original, especially that you liked that I didn't write yet another proposal story. It's good to see that you liked my imagery as well, seeing as I'm quite proud of it myself!

Thanks again for such a thoughtful review :)

academica


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