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Review:Akussa says:
Hello!

That was a lovely story. It's the first time I read one from the Malfoy family that takes place or even begins the morning after the war. I like the tone you used; from sadness and grief to hope and love. How Narcissa choses to turn to a more bright future and leave behind her dark past was really well done. the thought process whe went through was belieavable and gradual in a believable way.

The characterization was interesting. She isn'T s character we really got a chance to discover through the books and so, anything could go, right? Yet, I think you found the right balance between her Black heritage, her marriage to a Malfoy and a loving mother.

Through it all though, there was one little thing that didn't sound right and that, in all honesty, isn't all that essential to your story. Having Pansy sit at the table is kind of hard to imagine considering she was the first one to leave the castle after her outburst against Harry. I know, you can always say that she came back like a bunch of kids did but, for a one-shot where her entire importance is to sit there and refuse to look at the Malfoy, I personaly would cut that part out. It doesn't bring anything essential to the story and would keep you from having to explain to (picky, pointy, dumb...) readers like me!!

Overall, a great job. I personaly would not have save Lucius from Azkaban, after all that he has done over the years and that he didn't do so much to redeam himself... But hey, Harry was always a bit too forgiving, wasn't he?

Akussa (Gryffindor)

Author's Response: Hey there! I'm glad you liked the tone of the story and the way I characterized Narcissa :)

Pansy was a little more important than that. Her purpose was to demonstrate how the Malfoys have lost ties with even their dearest friends throughout the course of the war. Plus, her rejection of Draco in this piece was the last straw that caused Narcissa to take Draco outside, which allowed her to have the little revelation that was the main point of the story. I haven't read the last book in a while, but I think it's very possible that she and the other Slytherins just hid out in the dungeons while the battle raged on and then she would need to get her stuff and leave the next morning. So I do sort of see her as an important part, and that's why she's in there.

Thanks for your review! :)

academica


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