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Review:forsakenphoenix says:
This was gorgeous. The imagery, the characterization...everything about it was so perfect. I adored the paragraph about Bella. The imagery in that is fantastic - "but she still looked like an abused doll with her bloodless skin and smudged makeup." Your description of her is spot-on.

The fact that they were so isolated after the battle that not even Pansy wanted anything to do with them, that was so sad. But then all the help others had offered them was just proof that there is still good in a world ravaged by war. Like when Arthur helped move Bella's body.

I loved that Andromeda offered to help bury Bella. The line that you wrote, about how she acted as though time and sins hadn't affected them - that was a powerful line, a reminder of the discord within the Black family.

The paragraph you wrote when Cissy starts talking about how she has years left with her family broke my heart, because there were so many families destroyed by this war and maybe there's a little guilt there that they had fought on the wrong side but they still had their freedom and each other.

I noticed some errors with dialogue tags, not using commas, etc. and I'm probably just picky but it bugs me when I see that. For example: No. She said, drinking a bit of the juice. - this should say: "No," she said, drinking a bit of the juice. But aside from that, I didn't notice anything else amiss.

I loved this one-shot. it was just really nicely written. :)

forsakenphoenix (Ravenclaw)

Author's Response: Wow, thank you!

Yes, that's one of my favorite elements of this piece, the way I described Bella. In canon, she was very beautiful and then she was taken over by her obsession with Voldemort and became the crazy-eyed Bella we know and love. Kinda makes you wonder what she looked like beforehand, you know?

Yeah, it's funny, because the war kind of changes Narcissa's worldview. She's grown up thinking that the upper crust folks, like her and Pansy, should all band together and shield themselves from blood traitors like Andromeda and Arthur, and yet look who leaves her all alone and who volunteers to help pick up the pieces. I sort of pictured Andromeda as pining for her lost sisters somewhere deep inside after all those years. I imagine their abandonment of her must have hurt very, very badly.

There is a little bit of guilt there. Severus is a good reflection of that; he fought for the good and sacrificed everything, and he lost his life. And the Malfoys are still here, and what did they give? But they did give something, they lived in torment for a while and they ultimately switched sides while they still had a choice. And that's why she can take her time and enjoy her life now that she has one again.

Yep, I've heard of the dialogue tag thing. Thanks for pointing it out though :)

Your review was so sweet. Thanks for stopping by!

academica



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