Hi! BrightStar here from the forums. I had meant to read one of your stories for a while now, after reading your blog. Why I chose a Sirius/Lily, I'll never know, but this really appealed to me!
I really loved this - it almost pains me to think of the relationship between lily and james as being less than perfect, but for some reason it made me like this even more!
There was one part I really liked-
"He’d caught me whistling a little tune, the same that we’d heard at the fair, not that he knew that. It came to mind whenever I thought of you those days (it does even now, though it’s too late to call you back from the dead), those happy days at the end of summer before our seventh year, the first and last decent summer I’d had."
So moving, well done!
The voice you've given Sirius is absolutely perfect. I've never been a huge fan, though I liked him, but you've really made me feel for him here - and dislike James, not easily done!
I really didnt like Lily here, who allowed herself to be "won" by these men, but then not everyone feels that they're in control of these things, or whatever.
Some of the speech, like the "old man" thing, would normally annoy me - I always get annoyed when people forget what time the maurauders lived in. However, it really worked here, capturing a similar kin of a feel as the third man.
Anyway, I really enjoyed this. This is an older story, so you may not see the review - but if you do, well done! I'm really glad I stopped by :)
Author's Response: Oh wow, this is wonderful! Thank you so much! I'm very sorry for having taken too long to respond to this review, but even at the time, I remember being shocked and pleased that you took the time to read and review this story. It means a lot to hear from a great reviewer like you. ^_^
The presence of James is a very big issue with this ship that I still have - even though I enjoy writing Sirius and Lily together, I know that it always comes at the price of James. Either he has to be rather villainous, as he is in this story, or weak or otherwise out of the way - it's the only way that the best friend/girlfriend relationship can occur. It's horrible to admit this (because I like writing James, too), but I'm glad that I was able to make you dislike him in this story. He's rather sleazy and selfish, which I suppose corresponds with Snape's characterization of him, and it makes for a strange plot hole near the end - why on earth would Lily marry this guy? I still can't answer that question.
But Sirius is the focus of this story, as you've noticed. Even Lily, while she's being addressed the entire time, remains just out of reach - her characterization here is unsatisfactory to me, but I've never been able to write her to my satisfaction. It's wonderful that you like my portrayal of Sirius, though, and the fact that you don't usually like him makes your compliment even more amazing. ^_^
It's not that old a story, not for me. :P But anyway, thank you again for reading and reviewing this story! :D