Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:harrylilyjames says:
I'm back!! :)

Firs thing first, there are a few tiny slip-ups at the very start. For instance, the second sentence doesn't flow right, and probably because it's the very start, it stuck out more. "He leaned against the wall, one foot against it," - change it to , "He leaned casually against the wall, resting his foot up against the bricks,"- as the first sentence, it sounds like your saying the same sentence twice with different words. I seriously do not want to be so nit-picky, but I just thought I should let you know :)

Umm...why would he be in Witch Weekly? I know he's Harry's son and everything, but he's not that famous, if Harry had a reaction to it, his reaction would go into the paper and then what happened with James would be a story. That's just what I think.

I haven't read where Scorpius, Al and Lily were a trio...awe, that's so cute!!

I'm a bit confused, it just seems a bit too 'normal' that James and Oliver are friends, but they weren't before this, I think it would be nice to put in more references in this chapter to make that clear to the reader, because they seem to relaxed and don't have any major reaction when they are in the same compartment together.

Ooooh...So oliver is gay?? That's a surprise, you should have left that hidden for a while, so the reader could start quessing if he's straight or gay- that would be so much fun to read!!!
I really do hope you continue with this story!!! It's so interesting!!!

Author's Response: It's going through editing, I want to make it better, so it flows right. I just don't know if I should leave it up or take it off. I'm leaving it up for now.

These reporters think they're manipulative; if something's being said about Harry's kids, he's gonna wanna get involved. Then he'll be in the papers. :)

Scor, Al and Rose, you mean? LOL.

They're not friends. They've just been in the same group of friends. James thinks maybe they could be friends. James has grown up with reporters following his dad and Oliver is just so used to gossip and rumors about him (you'll find out why later) that it doesn't faze them. At least not as much as it should.

How do you know Oliver is gay? He could just be saying that James isn't. It makes you think, though, doesn't it? You'll just have to wait and see. ;D

Thank you! I will be continuing it. :)

Also, from the last review, I forgot to say, the only reason it was Fanta and not pumpkin juice was because they were both in London, not in the wizarding world. :)


Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

Examples:
  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Submit Report:  





All stories remain the property of their authors and must not be copied in any form without their consent. This is an unofficial, not for profit site, and is in no way connected with J.K. Rowling, Scholastic Books or Bloomsbury Publishing or Warner Bros. It is not endorsed by any of the aforementioned parties. Rights to characters and their images is neither claimed nor implied. The use of photographs and/or the likeness of any person contained herein does not imply endorsement of any kind. Any depictions were obtained through publically available sources and therefore fall under fair use. Although we may provide links to other websites, we are not responsible for any material at these sites. You acknowledge that you link to these other websites at your own risk. All original administrative content is copyright of the site owner and must not be copied in any form (electronic or otherwise) without the prior consent of the siteowner. ©2000-2012 Fanfictionworld.net

[terms of service] [report abuse] [privacy policy] [site credits]
 
 

navigation

home

search HPFF
read stories
write stories
login/register
get help
site links
forums
podcasts
Terms of Service
Site Rules
contact us

 
 
 

categories & genres

Genre:
- crossover
- drama
- fluff
- general
- horror/dark
- humor
- mystery
- romance
- action/adventure
- angst
- au
- young adult

Popular Pairings:
- harry/ginny
- ron/hermione
- james/lily
- draco/hermione
- more...

Format:
- one-shot
- short story
- novella
- novel
- short story collection
- songfic

 
 
 

quick links

my account
ToS
random story
site rules
help
merchandise


 
 
 

fanfictionworld.net