Hello ToujoursPadfoot, it's me notreallyblonde44 from the forums here to do those 8 reviews I promised you from oh say March...heh, heh. I'm pathetic and slow I know and I apologize. Hopefully these reviews will make up for it.
So, I remember you said that Helena is an ugly character, so I've very intrigued to start with her for your reviews since I've also written about her. She's certainly a very deep character given that her story last like a page or two in the books haha. Well, no more time for delays, onto the meat of the review!
'He was not a challenge, and he bored her.' -This line is superb as far as characterization goes! I must admit that I think this often about men lol.
Super nit-picky comment, but: 'And she had not been able to foresee that when she ran, he would run after her.
Traveling without a corset was unbelievably liberating.' The transition from this line to the next was not as fluid as the beginning was in jumping from time and space. I mean I guess the connection between man and corset could work, but the switch in action was slightly jarring. And like I wrote, this is a SUPER nit-picky comment that I only feel like I should comment on because everything else so far has been really fantastic! No wonder I choose you as the winner of my challenge lol.
I mean you clearly have a mastery of the English language. You write like you are from a different time period effortlessly it seems. None of the past phrases, almost Jane Austen like, are out of place. Also, you have such much detail! I LOVE DETAIL! It really sets the mood and let's us, the reader, know everything about the scenery and what the characters are doing precisely.
Ok, so instead of writing down every thought I have in response to something like I usually o in my reviews, I just read through to the ending and I must say OMG. Helena is an ugly character indeed. But an enjoyable hideous character. I loved your depiction of her; it's different, it's arrogant, she's beyond stuck up and KNOWS it and does nothing about it. Very realistic portrayal I think. Great job!
The last line intrigues me; why chains?
One last thing, one of the most interesting dynamics of this piece is the complete lack of Rowena, but not really. She is present throughout the whole piece like a plague in Helena's mind and heart. Despite Helena's best efforts to be rid of her mother, she just can't. I almost feel bad for her in this way, but in the end she truly is a spoiled and desperate for attention. I pity her.
Great read! Thanks for sharing this :)
Author's Response: Thank you for the lovely and thorough review!
I think you're right about the transition from Helena running and not being able to foresee him running after her, to the bit about running in a corset. It's kind of jarring and lacks fluidity, so thank you for bringing that to my attention!
I very much appreciate your comparisons to Jane Austen and that period style, as Jane Austen is pretty much my idol and I was more or less going off of what I've read of her books for inspiration. So that compliment really made my day.
The line about the chains is a metaphorical thing - the Baron will be chained to her in the afterlife, unwaveringly following her behind in guilt and mourning, trying to earn her forgiveness. But it is also foreshadowing - the ghost of the Bloody Baron wears chains. :)
Thank you, once again, for taking the time to read and leave such an excellently detailed review. :) :)