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Review:charlottetrips says:
Ha! I knew I was entirely justified in thinking that Teddy was the killer!! He’s so villainistic!

“James stood directly in front of.” – you forgot to complete the sentence there.

Whoa! So unexpected that Teddy would cut Roxanne down!

|Overall|
A little thing I would watch out for is that you read over your chapters or get someone to beta it as you have small minor things such as above that occur throughout the chapters. MINOR mind you but I’ve got an eye for those little points and this story is pretty good already. Also, there are some points where you are wonderful in describing the details and emotions and evoking a response in a reader (the scene where Roxy finds out Teddy is the killer) and some where it lacks substance (Teddy and Roxy after Victoire’s death). I know that you were probably just trying to show how awful Teddy is but more could be added in that area.

All in all, this was an enjoyable thriller. There was a definite build-up of suspense and the throwing in of possible clues pointing to James but also to Teddy was brilliant because one just gets confused and tangled up about it until the end. Although in the second chapter, it is a bit of an obvious clue when Mr. Turpin’s face goes blank after Teddy talks to him but in truth, I didn’t catch it until the very end :P

Your little twists were great at keeping the action moving and not letting us have our happily perfect end—villain caught but the good guys are down. It may be a bit sick of me but I admire a writer who is willing to take that stab at the grittiness that can come with living life.

I look forward to seeing what you do in a sequel. Mainly because I don’t know how you’re going to do it with everyone gone (or not?)!

x Char

Author's Response: I hope that you are very clever (ravenclaw) and not that my writing was too obvious. I'm glad that you liked this story!! I am thrilled in this sentance: "I admire a writer who is wiling to take that stab at the grittiness that can come with living life." That is more or less what I was attempting to do with this story. I wanted to write something polar opposite to the romcom next gen fics. I'm also thrilled that you are interested in the sequel. Just a hint... James isn't dead. He was hit with sectumsempra... but Harry was holding him at the end and I alluded to that fact that he was just unconcious. The sequel will be a murder mystery.. but more of a picking up the pieces and dealing with the monsters in your closet sort of fic.

I can't tell you how thankful I am for your reveiws! I hope to see you when the sequel is posted.



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