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Review:Dalek194 says:
Nice work! I like how you've introduced the Lovegoods into Ginny's life and the nightwalkers part was funny. Also good work on the "Ginny-trying-to-get-to-Hogwarts" thing, it's just the sort of thing a young Ginny would do. It's also good how she's matured since the last chapter. The sellotape part was funny too ;-)

One thing I did notice though was that the grammar in this chapter wasn't perfect, and there were a few storyline errors; I picked out a few mistakes;

- "daily prophet" (need capitals for Daily Prophet)
- "sure that no one is the" (the should be there)
- "as if the small but heavy are feathers" (you've missed out a word between heavy and are so it doesn't make sense)
- "dormitories-I can't remember" (not just here, but all through the chapter, you need spaces between words and the -)
- Why would she think the room is Gryffindor if it is all blue? (blue is Ravenclaw's colour)
- "she lives two streets away" (neither the Weasleys or the Lovegoods live in a street, thier houses are on their own; they are a few miles apart)
- Luna asks for the Weasley's address, but you usually don't need an address for wizard post, you just tell the owl who to send it to (though this doesn't seem to stop Hogwarts addressing their letters very accurately LOL)
- In her letter, Luna asks for Ginny's surname, but she hears it multiple times when they find Ginny (Ginny tells her, Luna herself says to her Dad to send a Patronus to the Weasleys and her dad tells her that she's a Weasley) so she already knows it.
- Your sentences tend to be very long; it gives the impression the person is talking very long without pausing which is distracting; maybe try to add more punctuation (knstead of she did this and this and this and this... etc)

Sorry for the criticism, I'm very picky but I just try and offer constructive criticism to help people improve. Sorry.

I still thought it was very good, and I am quite enjoying this story. I can't wait until she meets Harry for the first time LOL! Please update soon.

Author's Response: Thanks again! She was questioning why the room was blue because she knew that is belonged to ravenclaw and I'm sorry if I didn't make it clearer :) I'm still trying to work out the next chapter, I'm looking for a beta to sort of do what you just did. No response yet but I'm living in hope. I don't mind you being picky, that list was a lot shorter than I expected it to be really! I'm glad you're enjoying the story because I'm really having fun writing it. No doubt there will be mistakes in this reply, I type too fast for my brain and think too fast for my fingers to keep up!
Thank you for the review and I too can't wait for the next chapter!

LpF123 x

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