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Review:Jenna822 says:
Hello. Here with your review.

Wow, your opening is awesome. I love the set-up and the description of the cottage. The way you wrote the vines set a tone for the story in a very simple way, so well done with that. I love that you’re going to use Old English terms, but I would say to take out the * because it throws a kink in the flow. It’s like a reminder that you’re reading a story and it just makes it fall off. Plus, I found myself scrolling down and that sorta broke the flow also. I’d say just leave the definition at the bottom. It won’t kill the story if people aren’t sure what an eam is right away. (: I like the names for the sisters and how you’ve given them individual personalities and attributes. Can’t wait to see what they’re gonna get up to!

That moment between Ariel and Godric was so sweet. It was written very well and it felt calm. I like how gentle you’ve made him here. Seems to be a nice characterization of him. How he’s good with the children and story telling, I can see that being a way JK would have wanted him. The part with the dragon stories is awesome. The way the kids want to believe so much, but of course their raising won’t allow them to.

Spotted one typo: …but in a time were non-magical and magical folks lived together…
Should be “where” and not “were”.

That’s so cool how he used their animal souls to tell the story like it’s a fable rather than what truly happened. Part of my mind pictured it as animals while the other part had the human version going. It was neat. ^.^

I feel sorry for Godric’s mother and Ariel. Such an adventurous man, always off in the world while they stay behind and wish he was there. It’s sad. Yet I admire her strength in not pushing him to do something he wouldn’t want to. It’s also very period-correct, her not rising up and speaking out about it.

Oh I like the Patronus scene. Her having a Lioness was so sweet. I always considered matching Patronuses like a Soul-Mate kind of situation (the way James and Lily were) and hers matching his is heart touching. But then it’s also sad since they won’t be staying together when he goes off to build the school.

That stars witnessed line was just beautiful. You’ve got a very nice writing style!

Okay, so ending thoughts, this was a very nice one shot. I mean very very nice. I’m adding it to my favorites because I love it. The only critique I could offer would be to do a little more study on speech patterns and terms. Their language seemed a tad too modern. It held the propriety, but not quite enough period-relevance. If that makes sense. I’m not always the best at explaining myself. Lol.

--Jenna

Author's Response: Wow, that review is a story in itself. Not that I mind :)

That's the first time I wrote this era, it means a lot that you think it fits, took me longer than usual to write this one-shot. But a review like this makes it worth the time, so thank you!
Lol, I get what you're trying to say with the period-relevance of the language. And I suppose it could really use some work; I'll definitely keep this in mind should I edit or write another founder's era.

There's not much given in terms of characterisation on the founders, apart from which qualities they prefer in their students.This prompt 'Behind Every Legend' really got me thinking, and this is the result, obviously ;)

I wanted to cut out the story-telling scene, because that scene wasn't planned at all; I'm glad I didn't. And the patronus scene is my favourite part, I can reread it and still enjoy it, something that's not always the case when I read my own work, even if others tell me they like it.

Thanks so much for reviewing this for me, you have me grinning like a loon :D xxx Leo


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