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Review:The Empress says:
I should start by telling you that I cannot stop giggling. This was hilarious! I could just see Molly slowing fading out of reality and into her ridiculous day dream. How embarrassing. :P Loved it.
You have captured the characters just right for this piece. I like that she, even in the midst of her own day dream, is slightly put off by the silly Teddy she's created. I have to say, I was bit curious as to why he was suddenly acting that way, you wrote it very cleverly. A Molly suddenly falling all over herself like a complete ninny would have made it less humorous and just plain ridiculous.

This piece is so different from anything else I've ever read of yours. It's - I don't want to say refreshing because that would make it sound as if your other works were tedious or less than amazing. (And they are amazing.) I think the better word would be surprising. In a very good way. It's always fun to find something by someone you admire and whose writing you like that surprises you. The style fits this new sort of piece. Somewhat spare, short paragraphs and such, but definitely not lacking. It just fits so well with the flow of it. I like this!

Oh, the ending! You are so good at endings, I envy you that. :) It was perfect fluff, ending with a kiss rather than what is, admittedly, more realistic. But it was perfect for this piece. A little bit silly, definitely funny. It was really, really good. I liked it a lot!

xoxo
Shiloh

Author's Response: It made you giggle!?!? That alone is enough to make me squee. It was successful after all! :D I wasn't sure if I could write fluffy humour that didn't end badly for one or both characters. I'm not at all used to writing light stories - almost all of my stories contain death... except this one now. Yay!

It was quite a daydream for sure. It ends up being more than she thought that she wanted - an unconscious desire that, in a way, scares her. And she likes Teddy a very particular way - not slavish and romantic, but practical and kind - and to see him act the first way repels her a bit. I agree that making her drool over him during the dream would not work - it'd make her seem fake or, worse, stupid.

The story came out sparingly, and I don't know why. It made the dream sequence more fun because I could run off and thus signify that something had changed. I guess that the spare style reveals a lot about the kind of person Molly is and how she's more like her dad than she'd ever admit. ;)

Thanks very much for the review, Shiloh! You've made me feel more comfortable about the story and reassured me that it wasn't a failure. I really appreciate hearing from you! ^_^


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