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Review:jeograph says:
You have some very nice ideas here, and this could shape up to be a very compelling story. My advice would be as others have suggested, slow down, get more into Harry's head, be a bit more descriptive and remember that you may know exactly what is happening and where, but the reader doesn't unless you tell them. I like the real somber feel you are giving the characters, as they are all obviously dealing with great tragedy, and trying to cope... but I am sorry, I just don't bye Molly Weasley as a drunk... at least not without some character build-up to explain why and how. It is totally inconsistent with the Molly of the books. Perhaps if you had strung it through a few chapters, and dropped in hints, like a history of alcoholism in her family, or giving it too us slow with a bottle of cooking sherry that is disappearing far faster than it should. something to ease us into it all.
I repeat, I do like some of your ideas and I would like to see where you are going, but please slow down and give us more of what your are intending.
And by all means - DO KEEP WRITING!!

Author's Response: Thanks for the suggestion! That will come more into play near Christmas time of their year.

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