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Review:Adrielne says:
Hello, Adrielne from the review thread here!

How are you on this fine day when I got to begin reading your story, which happily surprised me? "Finally a story about a transfer student with some background information on the person!" I thought to myself. I hope the next chapter proves me right in that!

This is a good starting point for a story. Not too much information so you still have more to uncover as you go along. Make sure you don't turn your story into the cliche "transferred-girl-falls-in-love-with-popular-guy"... I absolutely loathe those (along with many a person, I like to believe).

This transferring will only be as believable as you make it be: have her keep in touch with previous friends, not make new friends (especially the popular guys and the good girls) on her first day. Make her be as in awe of the castle as first years, possibly introduce the little girl who says "shush!" whenever she says a word during the Sorting or the boat ride (like that little ballet class girl in "Step Up 1" - have you seen it?).

I like where this is going. Keep writing and most of all have fun with it! Develop your characters, make them have problems with schoolwork, parents, career choices... Not just love. Make the story captivating by avoiding cliches and being original. Good luck!

Adrielne

Author's Response:
I'm fine thankyou,
Oh thank you very much for the helpful review. I'm afraid this story does stand in with the cliche transferred-girl-falls-in-love-with-popular-guy, ha ha but hopefully it will ave a few twists here and their. In my next chapter love is not having many run ins with the popular girls so I am doubting they will be the best ofg friends but I can see them playing an important role in the story. Thankyou for the lovely review :)

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