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Review:Rose of the West says:
Hmmm... I want to know more about what came before this, like how they fell in love but she got engaged to someone else; and I want to know more about what comes afterwards.

You might set the flashbacks off, somehow, either with lines or italics or something. I almost thought their one fling was in the present after the party at the bar. At any rate, the language is really compelling and pulled me right into the story.

Author's Response: I'm going to look back over it when my exams are finished and I can give it the time it needs
I'll definitely take your advice though because you're right =]
The version I posted I think was quite rough still so yeah thanks for the tips about italics and I'm going to put in some back ground information as well
You've really helped me, lovely advice dear
Thank you for the review and for reading
Greatly appreciated you lovely person you =]

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